Why do we do things that make us unhappy?
Hmmm this is a difficult one. I am stuck here, as I have been for several months (years) trying to finish my PhD thesis, and I am sat here wondering why am I going against everything I talk about on this blog, about turning around things that make us unhappy.
Now this is a really tricky one. I am a huge advocat of not doing something which makes us tragically unhappy....hey we only have one life right? But maybe sometimes we have to force ourselves to do things we don't want.....maybe time for some back story
How did I come to be doing a PhD in the first place, well on reflection, for all the wrong reasons. I hated my job, and I mean hated my job, I wanted to break free, I had realised there was more to life :) and an opportunity arose, to apply to do a PhD in a subject which was very dear to my heart. Given my age, career to that point and a variety of other factors, I knew that the descision was likely to go against me.....but...well it didn't! I had escaped my job, left my career behind and embarked on something new. I have learnt a lot during my journey, but ultimately we still end up sometimes being stuck with a lack of confidence. It is that which is really preventing me from finishing. The knowledge that no matter how hard I work, I am letting myself in for being criticised! So the lesson is accept that whatever you will do in life, you will be critised and the lesson is how you cope with the criticism, because ultimately the person critising you, the one who is making you feel unhappy (as I am now), is only doing it because they feel they have to, or to make them feel superior, or because the genuinely want to make your work better. Ultimately you will never know, but if you approach it with the attitude that it is to help you grow and move on then it might make you happier and less worried! It is what Seth Godin calls the lizard brain, conquer that and you will be free!!
(Note since I wrote this post, I have submitted my PhD and passed my viva!! It was worth it in the end!!)